I would like to take a moment to say a few words about Wal-Mart's Faded Glory product line.
Right off, let me say this; why in blue blazes would anyone give a product line, no matter how generic and shoddy, a name like Faded Glory? The name just screams that the product is past it's prime. It also screams that the person purchasing the product is past his or her prime. Or a NASCAR fan. Or a WWF fan. But, I digress.
It's like naming your product Big Fat Turd or Worthless Crap, or Chicago Tools, or the like.
At least they could have named it Unfaded Glory, or Old Glory, or Glory, Glory, Hallelujah, or practically anything that would indicate that the best is yet to come, not that the best has come and gone a long time ago and now you're old and poor and just waiting to die.
Also, when I think of Faded Glory, I think of men with mullets and Skoal cans in their back pockets and 'ain't skeered' decals on their Camaros and 4x4s for whom acquisition of a FG item of clothing is a step up in the world. I also think of women with mullets and Skoal cans in their back pockets and stylized pink deer head decals on their Camaros and Sunfires for whom acquisition of a FG item of clothing is a step up in the world. These are the same women who think wearing a camouflage g-string and pasties and squirting a little deer attractant behind their knees and armpits is a good way to get the attention of the new dude in the trailer park. And it is.
I don't know if I can bring myself to post and FG watches. I have quite a few. But they give me nightmares of souped up Firebirds and El Caminos and too-tight acid washed jeans and Budweiser flags used as window coverings and and speech impediments caused by years of stuffing too much Beechnut behind your bottom lip and home perms that make your hair look and feel like one of those stupid straw brooms you see at Cracker Barrel, which is exactly how you intended it, and white Jordache short shorts that are stained a permanent dirt brown on the butt because you and Bubba have to go out in the grassless backyard when you want to do some heavy petting 'cause your stepfather thinks you're awful sexy in them shorts and...oh god, no more...please...no...more.
I think I'm going to find creative ways to destroy these FG watches. Unless someone out there wants them. $20.00 for the lot if you promise I won't ever have to see them again.
Right off, let me say this; why in blue blazes would anyone give a product line, no matter how generic and shoddy, a name like Faded Glory? The name just screams that the product is past it's prime. It also screams that the person purchasing the product is past his or her prime. Or a NASCAR fan. Or a WWF fan. But, I digress.
It's like naming your product Big Fat Turd or Worthless Crap, or Chicago Tools, or the like.
At least they could have named it Unfaded Glory, or Old Glory, or Glory, Glory, Hallelujah, or practically anything that would indicate that the best is yet to come, not that the best has come and gone a long time ago and now you're old and poor and just waiting to die.
Also, when I think of Faded Glory, I think of men with mullets and Skoal cans in their back pockets and 'ain't skeered' decals on their Camaros and 4x4s for whom acquisition of a FG item of clothing is a step up in the world. I also think of women with mullets and Skoal cans in their back pockets and stylized pink deer head decals on their Camaros and Sunfires for whom acquisition of a FG item of clothing is a step up in the world. These are the same women who think wearing a camouflage g-string and pasties and squirting a little deer attractant behind their knees and armpits is a good way to get the attention of the new dude in the trailer park. And it is.
I don't know if I can bring myself to post and FG watches. I have quite a few. But they give me nightmares of souped up Firebirds and El Caminos and too-tight acid washed jeans and Budweiser flags used as window coverings and and speech impediments caused by years of stuffing too much Beechnut behind your bottom lip and home perms that make your hair look and feel like one of those stupid straw brooms you see at Cracker Barrel, which is exactly how you intended it, and white Jordache short shorts that are stained a permanent dirt brown on the butt because you and Bubba have to go out in the grassless backyard when you want to do some heavy petting 'cause your stepfather thinks you're awful sexy in them shorts and...oh god, no more...please...no...more.
I think I'm going to find creative ways to destroy these FG watches. Unless someone out there wants them. $20.00 for the lot if you promise I won't ever have to see them again.